A Bookstore Romance Chapters 5-7

Chapter 5

Hailey felt her heart pound as she walked away to fill the drinks.  Why was that so easy?  I hate talking to people- I usually want to puke… But I didn’t… What is it with this Kevin Townsend that’s different than anyone I’ve ever met?

 

She didn’t understand it in the least- but now, that ease of conversation had ended and they were no longer speaking, she was a train wreck.  Kevin Townsend had put her heart into a flutter and her stomach felt like the butterfly exhibit at the Conservatory… He probably didn’t even realize that he had done it, but he had her all in a tizzy.  She felt like a hummingbird on six cups of coffee and she didn’t like it in the least.

  She supposed that it was nice to be flirted with, and it was nice to know that she was one of the human race… But it was totally another thing to someone who wasn’t used to people talking to her.  She couldn’t wait to get home now and take off these shoes that she had spent a fortune on the one time she went to New York with a credit card… She had to hold off on buying books for two months… It definitely wasn’t one of her prouder moments and she hadn’t told anyone but Rebecca about it.  And now that she thought about it, Kevin probably hadn’t even given her a second thought, and here she wanted to bolt and get home and take off this tight cocktail dress that pushed her boobs where they didn’t belong, thus eliminating the conversation from her brain and trying to forget it never happened.  She couldn’t keep thinking about him because he probably wasn’t thinking about her.  Darn him.  But even when she got home and took off those expensive shoes- and showered, and got changed into her sweats and old Abercrombie t-shirt that her sister had bought for her to take with her when she went to Yale for the summer program- Hailey still couldn’t forget that cute guy and couldn’t help imagining him thinking about her.  She knew it was silly and she was acting like a schoolgirl, but she hadn’t ever acted like a schoolgirl before, so she guessed there has to be a time and a place for everything.  She curled up in her favorite chair after lighting a fire in her fireplace, and putting on some soft music-with a cup of Peppermint Tea and a book about the 1980s.  She liked to read non-fiction and fiction intermittently so that she wouldn’t get bored.   She sighed when she put the book down- he’s not even thinking about me I bet.  He probably is already going out with a girl he met at the party and will not even wave or smile if he passes me on the street- like we never even met…  She didn’t know how wrong she was.  She was indeed dead wrong.

 

Kevin left the bookstore feeling a little bit disturbed.  He really hadn’t expected to feel anything for the brunette named Hailey McKay, but he did.

There was something about her that struck him- something that stuck in his head like a favorite song on the radio.  Hailey had pulled on the string attached to his heart- and he couldn’t stop thinking about her.  There was a certain amount of sympathy he felt for her because it really seemed like she didn’t have anybody to talk to and she had a lack of self-worth… He sort of felt protective of her even though he knew he really had no cause to.  Something made him want to help her.  Something made him want to find out anything and everything about this girl, even though he knew that it was totally irrational, and totally silly of him to be thinking this way about someone that he didn’t even know.  She didn’t know him either- they had only talked for a few minutes and now he couldn’t stop thinking about her?! Come on, get real! He thought.  But he couldn’t shake the feeling that something was laying ahead for him that concerned little miss Hailey McKay.  When he thought about her now, he realized that she was the smartest girl he had ever met.  She was sharp as a tack and she wasn’t afraid to let him know that she wasn’t a dummy.  Of course, even before he actually talked to her, Kevin had known she was smart.  He had just seen it on her face and the way she walked.  He thought about what he knew- concerning this young lady.  She was smart, she obviously spent a lot of time in that bookstore- he knew that she wasn’t much of a socialite but that she was actually a very good speaker when she wanted to be.  She had kind of been beat up by the world, but he saw that there was a fire in her.  He could tell from talking to her that she was both tough and fragile.  She put on a brave face a lot of the time, but often, things weren’t all that she wanted them to be.  She was someone who didn’t put a lot of value in herself even though he knew that she was aware of her smarts.  She just wasn’t quite aware of how sexy that made her to him.  And Kevin sighed as he unpacked some of his kitchen stuff.  Since Hailey shopped in the bookstore so much, Kevin figured that she either really liked to read or she was building a library for appearances- but he was pretty sure it was the former and not that latter.  If she was someone that openly told him that she didn’t date and no one really talked to her in school- there wasn’t much left for her to do but read habitually. 

He found it funny that she totally defied the stereotype set up about female readers.  She may be bookish- but she wasn’t an ugly old spinster, or some gothic freak, or some eccentric person who talked to their cats like people… She was thoughtful and quiet, and she was incredibly hot.  He felt fluttering in his stomach- had ever since they had parted.  That was something that he hadn’t wanted or needed, but he couldn’t stop picturing Hailey in that black dress, her perfect long legs accented by those sexy red shoes.  He couldn’t stop thinking about their conversation and he realized how free and easy it had been.  He kept thinking about her- the way she talked- the way she blushed when he complimented her- her fiery wit, her temper, and the way she tossed her hair.  He loved the way she walked and the poised, graceful way she stood.  She had cuteness about her, but she was, every inch- a woman.  Her wit alone would have drawn him in- but Hailey was the whole enchilada.  He sighed and decided to put on a movie to wind down.  He wondered if Hailey liked E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial it was one of his favorites- and perfect for a bag of popcorn and a bottle of hard lemonade.  He fell asleep on the couch after the movie was over- just watching a bunch of HGTV specials which put him to sleep.  Around two a.m. he went up to bed and was amazed at how quick the morning came.

He threw on a pair of faded jeans and a green long-sleeved shirt from Old Navy so he could go out and see the sights.  He walked past the bookstore and saw her there.  He really wanted to come in, but had no idea what he would say when he got in there but he didn’t care.  So he waltzed in seeing Hailey in her navy blue knee-length dress that had a floral print that wasn’t too crazy paired with a pair of calf-length brown leather boots and a jean jacket.  She had a brown leather bag slung over her shoulder and she looked lovely.  He took a deep breath, drinking her in.  She was too engrossed in her pursuit of a good book to notice him.  She actually wasn’t reading anything other than the titles and backs of the books to see if they were interesting or not.  If they were, she’d smile and drop it in her basket.  If they weren’t, she’d make a disappointed face and put it back.  She finally noticed he was there after dropping a book about Germany in her basket.  “Oh, it’s you.”

He wasn’t sure if he could really read anything into her expression or the inflection in which she had said it.  She didn’t sound overly pleased, but she didn’t seem totally put off either.  He really didn’t want her to not want him to stay.  All he really wanted was to get to know her a little bit better. 

               “Yeah, it’s me.  I saw you through the window and I had to come in.”

               “I don’t see the correlation- but you’re here none-the-less.”

She wasn’t looking at him and he could just feel her nervousness and discomfort at being bugged when she was in an intellectual pursuit.  She grabbed for a biography about Grace Kelly and as she was pulling it down, he put his hand over hers and she turned suddenly- shocked- like a deer in the headlights.

               “W-why did y-you do that?” She stammered. “Why did you…?” She trailed.  She looked at their hands on the book she was picking out- and then she looked at him. 

               “There- that’s more like it, Princess.  I didn’t come in here for any other reason than to talk to you and damn it, I’m gonna do it!”

               “Why do you want to talk to me? I’m plain Jane! I’m a freak-everyone always said… My life is very uninteresting and I’m not little Miss Social.”

               “That’s bull.  You’re gorgeous!  You’re not plain and you’re no freak.  Your life could be more interesting- but your mind is interesting enough for me.  I don’t care if you don’t like to talk to everyone- you don’t have to… but know that I want to talk to you… Trust me- after the relationship I was just in, I really am not in a hurry to get back into a situation that could hurt me like she did… She kicked me in the nuts and I admit that I haven’t fully recovered from it.  So, sweetie- the last damn thing I wanna do is like you and find you gorgeous and entrancing, but so help me, I do!  You have totally fascinated me and that’s no easy task.  I’m not easily amused.  If nothing else comes of this talk today- I at least hope that we can be friends.”

               “I’m a loner.  Why do you want to be my friend? People like me don’t have friends.  My sister is my best friend-which is sad.  I’m pathetic and I know it.  Why are you so adamant about talking to me and being my friend?  Why are you trying so hard to befriend or woo me? - Whatever the hell this is… I’ve been picked on all my life by pretty people and ugly people- smart, dumb, thin and fat… My parents weren’t all that kind either- but at the very least they didn’t abuse me and I always had clothes and shelter and food… But still, I was always the one that never was liked by anyone.  I went through high school walking the halls in fear… I can’t bear that again. So please don’t pretend to like me just because…”

At her little speech, he didn’t seem mad, he actually smiled.  His hand was still on top of hers and he shocked Hailey speechless by taking her hand and gently raising it to his lips, softly kissing her soft skin.  Then he let it go. She got a confused, but dreamy look on her face.  “That’s what I’m talking about.  You get so fired up, Hailey!  It’s like the checkered flag has been waved and you blast off.  It’s both sexy and maddening.”

               “I’m not getting rid of you, am I?” She sighed- but to him, it didn’t sound like she was really put out or anything- it didn’t sound like anger or frustration- he realized that it was her giving in.  Her walls were finally down and he was relieved that she had taken down the iron curtain- and was willing to talk to him.  She knew she was no match for him, and that gave him a teeny ounce of pleasure.  He was forcing her to be open, and forcing her to realize that maybe someone could find her beautiful.  He was going to treat her like the special woman she was.  And he was going to respect her smarts and her insecurities, but make sure that in spite of all of it, she was a woman- beautiful and charming and so utterly sexy that he’s be a total fool if he didn’t at least try to win her affection…

She sighed again and started muttering words in what sounded like Spanish to him and sounded like she was cursing… After her outburst he leaned against the bookcase and said, “Are you done yet, senorita?” He rolled his eyes at the end- but good-naturedly so she wouldn’t get all defensive.  Plus, he found the whole thing amusing anyway- it didn’t bother him that she was so feisty.  He rather liked it- it just made her all-the-more beguiling.  At his words, she cursed again in Spanish and then groaned, “Yes, damn it!” Now she looked peeved- but it probably was more with herself than him- because from what little Spanish he remembered from High School, College, music, and Ricky Ricardo on I Love Lucy- he ascertained that she was cursing at herself.  She was thinking she was a complete lunatic for letting her walls come down.  She was frustrated because she didn’t know how to feel.  And he grinned inwardly because he had caught something that sounded like she thought he was gorgeous and that she’d be a fool not to let him talk to her if he wanted… But his Spanish was rusty, so he wasn’t sure.  With her admitting that he had won this round made him grin.  “No, you’re not getting rid of me, Princess.”

               “That’s what I figured.”

               “You’re not even going to lose me with that attitude- and that temper tantrum you just threw.”

               “Temper tantrum?” She raised an eyebrow.

               “Yes, a temper tantrum- like a two year old… ‘Mommy I want Oreos!!! I want a bike!  Can I have the bubble gum?! I want the bubble gum and I want it now!’ seriously!”

               “That’s a bit harsh.”

               “Well, I tried to compliment you, and you went on a tirade about not being liked and about the travails of being a nerd… Being last one picked… Being unlovable… How you feel when people say mean things to you… I know you can’t just forget it- and I know it had to be horrible, so I’m not trying to make light of it- but just because a handful of people were evil- that doesn’t mean everyone is.”  He glanced at the books in her basket.  She had all kinds of books in there.  There was the German book, the one about Grace Kelly, a book about Ancient Egypt, The Discovery Channel’s Titanic: Legacy of the World’s Greatest Ocean Liner- and then she had Eat, Pray, Love and The House Next Door… Then, she threw in a book of album covers of the 1990s and their stories.

Then he continued, “Hailey, you may be a loner, but you’re not a freak!  You’re not ugly, you’re not boring- and if you hadn’t told me, I’d assume you were popular because you’re gorgeous… and fun… I also think that it’s very likely that the last person who shut you out, or said that you were ugly or too weird or whatever- they probably were just being mean to be mean- and I also think it was probably a long time ago… At least a few years anyway… So I’m really hoping that you’ll gain some confidence.  I’m not saying what they did or said was right, because it wasn’t.  I’m not saying that it didn’t hurt- because I can see- and observe that it has- but should it really ruin your life, Princess?” They walked a little.  She wasn’t even looking at the books anymore, which filled him with confidence at least… “For goodness sake! Not everyone thinks you’re a freak… I sure as hell don’t.”

               “You don’t even know me!” She exclaimed; her voice raising an octave.  He had struck a nerve and felt a little satisfaction at it.  God!  She’s so sexy when she’d mad!  He thought- and then continued.  “You’re afraid that if you let me or anyone else in, that we’ll just see what a freak you are and you’ll get hurt.  You think you’ll feel stupid that you let down your guard… Are you afraid that somehow, you won’t be good enough?  Are you afraid that you’ll be abandoned when it comes down to it- and you do the wrong thing…? Are you afraid of loving and not being loved back?”

She looked speechless again.

 

Oh, lord- that’s exactly what I feel… How does he look right through me?  Am I that transparent? Hailey thought.

 

               “So- wh-what if you’re right about me?” She said in a soft voice.

               “Hailey, if I thought you were a freak, I wouldn’t be here.  You’re not a freak, or an oddball, or weird, or a lunatic- you’re smart, and lovely, and you’re way more interesting than you think… You also have a firm grasp on fashion… There’s just something about you that makes me want to be near you… I can’t explain it… I just like you.”

               “But—.” She couldn’t add anything- no words would come.

               “I’m right, aren’t I?  You feel like you have to be perfect all the time.  You feel like if people really knew you, they’d shun you?  So you try to lock your heart up and stay in your house all the time… When someone dares to get near you, you push them away no matter how much you may need to be close to someone… I understand all that, babe- and I get it… but there’s only so much pushing away that I can take.”

               “Ha!  You said it- you’ll give up if I push.” She looked triumphant.

               “No- that’s not what I said- that’s what you heard.  You heard what you wanted to hear, Princess.  You want to have a reason to push.  You want to have a reason to run- that’s why you put words in my mouth.  I don’t give up easily, Hailey.  I have patience.  What I meant-what I was really saying to you was that if you keep trying to push me away for no good reason; I’m gonna take you by force.  And don’t get all scared because that’s not what I mean either.  I mean that I’m not going to take ‘no’ for an answer- I’m just going to do what you need whether you comply or not.”

She still looked scared. “W-what’s that?” She was trying to keep a stiff upper lip, but she was terrified.

               “I’m not gonna settle for just being friends if you keep it up.  I’m going to just pull you close and kiss you long and hard until neither of us can breath- and I’ll watch your guard drop like a rock because you’ve never been kissed before- and you need a good kissin’- and from someone who knows how!”

She actually cracked a teeny tiny smile at the end of that.  “Ok, Rhett- you got me.  I’ll comply.”

              
               “You’re quick. I like that.  I was hoping I wasn’t going to make you think that my intentions were anything but honorable…”

               “You did scare me for a minute, but something felt off about my feeling threatened.”

               “Did you know that you’re beautiful, and smart, well-read, and passionate- eager to learn… articulate- even when cursing?!”  He laughed, and she did too.

He took her hand, “People damaged you, babe- but even though you still bear the scars, those scars tell me that you’re scrappy and you survived… But you need to live now… You’re in your roaring twenties- live a little.” Kevin looked in her eyes and saw that she was touched- and she knew that he was speaking truth to her. “Those people who were mean to you- they didn’t know you- didn’t want to… But I’m trying- I want to- please let me.”

               “And you’re not putting me on? You aren’t taking the impending Halloween holiday too seriously?”

               “Not in the least. Cross my heart and hope to die.”

               “Alright; I capitulate- you obstreperous man. You can give me a try if you want. I think you’re wasting your time, but do what you like.” There wasn’t a smile there like he had hoped.

               “Come on, Hailey- please don’t be like that- please don’t make me beg.”

 

Hailey was surprised by the look on Kevin’s face when he said that- and she felt bad for being so sassy and unkind.  He really seemed like an alright guy.

 

Kevin actually felt a little desperate- which was the last thing he wanted.  But he had come this far and he couldn’t stop now.  He was about to add onto what he just said, but she said, “I’m sorry.  I’m not used to talking to people- so I really am not too good at small talk…”

               “I think you show promise- but don’t rush into it- we don’t send kids with floaties into the deep end.”

               “Don’t be an ass. I’m talking to you.  I don’t talk to people.”

               “Well, alright; you win that battle.”

               “Ok, good.” She took a breath.

There was a moment of quiet and then he brushed her bangs out of her eyes.  She wasn’t quite sure that she was comfortable with these displays of affection- but her heart was racing too fast for her to say anything.  Then he asked her, “What’s your middle name?”

               “Lynn.  Hailey Lynn McKay.”  She took a breath.

               “Where did you go to school?”

               “Well, I went to Harmony Prep- which was a K-8 school- a private school.  Then I started high school at Grey Mills Prep which was a high school- a private school… I went there for a year and then I had to transfer to Spiresville High for the rest because some kids in my last school tripped me and trampled me in the hallway and broke most of my ribs. I made it through the rest of the years without much incident.  I just wasn’t very popular because I didn’t talk much and I always wrecked the curve with my good grades.” She shrugged.  “Then, I went to Yale for a set of summer classes- and then I went to UC.”

               “And that wasn’t complicated at all.” He laughed.

               “Well, I wasn’t sure what exactly you wanted to know.”

               “Fair point.  Ok- Did you get into any other Ivy- League schools?”

               “All of them… Actually- Yale wanted me to actually ‘go’ there but I just- didn’t want to be that far away from home.”

               “That’s interesting.”

               “Well, I’m a homebody… So- um- what about you?  Middle name and schools you went to?”

               “Peabody Elementary- then Hargrove Middle School- then Carlton High School… Then I got into Princeton, Harvard and Yale… I took a few classes at Harvard- over the summer like you with Yale- but- also like you; I didn’t want to be that far away from home.  So- I went to Miami University in Oxford. I graduated at the top of my class. Third actually… I was trying for first but some overachieving females got there and I didn’t…”

               “I was second in my class.”

               “Well- we have something in common… Oh- I forgot to tell you my middle name- how silly… I’m starting to get why I was third…”

They both chortled at that.  “Daniel- that’s my middle name.  Kevin Daniel Townsend.” Then he noticed her gaze flitting to a book on the top shelf that she couldn’t reach about Joan Jett and he grinned, getting it down for her.

               “Thanks.  Gosh, you’re tall!”

               “Just a little.  What’s your favorite Joan Jett song?”

               “Well- I like all of them, really- but I love Too Bad on Your Birthday a lot.”

               “That’s a good one.”

He grabbed her a book on Pompeii that she seemed to think looked interesting.  “Thanks.”

               “You’re welcome.  See what you can accomplish with a tall guy?”

She chuckled lightly.  “You amuse me.”

               “Glad that I can do that.”

               “This is shaping up to be a rather pointless conversation.”

               “I’m just trying to be sociable.”

               “Can you please do it another way?” She put a stern face on- really not feeling very stern at all.

               “I could try but I don’t see how it would do much good, Princess.”

               “You’re incorrigible.”

He was impressed to be honest.  She knew her vocabulary.

               “Anything else?”

               “Obstreperous, Vociferous, Annoying… Gregarious… But I guess you have other qualities… You’re very nice to me… you’re amiable… and sincere- persistent. ”

               “I suppose I am all those things.” He chuckled.  And when he went to help her get a book down from the top shelf; his hand accidentally brushed her breast and she flinched as if she had been burned.  He hadn’t meant to do it and he blushed a little- which was out of character for him.  Hailey was the only person who could do such strange things to him.  Since he hadn’t meant to do what he did, he automatically apologized. “I’m sorry- I didn’t mean to do that- honest.” Great- now she’s going to think that’s what I’m out for… She’s going to think everything I’ve been doing and saying is just a ploy!  I just screwed it up big time!  She’ll run away and I’ll never see her again- I’m so stupid! 

Hailey snapped out of the state of shock she’d gone into after he touched her.  “Uh- it’s ok… I didn’t think you meant to do it… It didn’t seem like that scene in Grease at the drive-in…”

               “You just- flinched so I thought you thought I was trying something… I’m sorry.”

               “You didn’t do it on purpose- I know that.  I just- I flinched because this is all new to me… I’ve never been asked out, or kissed- or touched… And I’ve never been with a man- and I just- I flinched.”

That answer suited him fine and he knew that Hailey was being perfectly honest with him.  He opened his mouth to apologize again and be done with the whole embarrassing episode, but Hailey kept going as if she thought she had to explain her chaste state- or why she had flinched- even though she already did that and he was fine with her answer- not that it really mattered if he was ok with it or not-since it was the truth- and it was her life- and they weren’t a couple- not yet anyway- so he really had no claim on her life- no right to judge her- and no reason to get upset about such a thing… If anything- it was admirable that she was pure- and that made him feel better about trying to enter into a relationship with her.  But as if she had to explain something- Hailey said, “I’m a good girl.  I never get in trouble.  I did well in school.  I graduated suma cum laude from college… I’ve never gotten a tattoo- or dyed my hair- or pierced anything but my ears.  I didn’t go to parties in high school or college- I’ve never gotten drunk and I hardly ever drink because there’s no one to drink with and it isn’t really my thing… I feel bad because I don’t go to church anymore- because it was so much of my life… And it’s not that I don’t believe - or that I’m angry with God or something- it’s just- I haven’t felt much like going lately… And I don’t really have any friends there-at least none that I’d make a special trip for… And I find that I just feel more depressed when I go.  I feel bad because I never used to curse and now I do… Maybe it’s just that I’ve always been the good, perfect little girl and never done anything wrong- and I’m just tired of it… I’m angry at the world- I admit that.  And now- being around you- I’m turning into someone I don’t recognize… Which isn’t really bad- actually- even though I curse more- because you drive me up a tree; I find that I like being this person that you like… And to be honest, I flinched more out of reflex- like this is what you’re supposed to do… it wasn’t really so much that you did something and I was appalled.” She sucked in a breath and continued.  “I, um- didn’t mind it actually- and part of me is appalled at myself because I’m not more upset about it- because again- I’m that good girl who does what’s expected of her… But then again- I actually kind of enjoyed it- and to be honest- that scares the hell out of me. Good girls are supposed to be good… And I’m feeling more and more like a rebel every minute.”

Now, he had to process all of this.  “Hailey- you’re still a good girl.  I think you’re great.  Maybe all this so-called rebelling you feel like you’re doing is because it’s pent-up from youth.  Teenagers are supposed to rebel. But you never did, so you’re doing it now.  But really, you’re not doing anything harmful- so you don’t need to get upset.  I’m sorry that because of me- you’ve begun that cursing habit… And I actually find it charming- in a twisted way… I admit that I have a bit of a potty mouth too sometimes… If it makes you feel better- I can try to tone it down- and maybe quit altogether. I’m pretty set in my ways- to be honest- but I can try… I’d do it for you.”

               “I don’t know that that’s necessary- but I appreciate that you’d do that for me… That’s really something.”

               “Just let me know, ok?  I don’t want to corrupt you too much.”

She laughed, “You just want to corrupt me a little then?”

               “You’ve got it. You’re young, smart, and pretty- and like you said; you’ve been being the good little girl who never does anything wrong- for so long that you probably feel a little repressed.  Now- you’re letting go a little, and that’s a relief for me actually.  You had a tough childhood with all those bullies- so you probably have a lot of repressed rage.  That could explain why cursing came so naturally to you even though you didn’t used to do it… I’m glad that I could help in that respect… Maybe you needed some good-natured teasing to annoy you into the habit… Maybe it’ll help you with your anger and then you won’t need to curse anymore.”

               “That’s very interesting, Dr. Freud.”

               “You don’t want to know what Freud would say…”

               “Yeah- I don’t.  I don’t know why I went off that way before.  You probably didn’t want to know all that.”

               “Actually- I did.  I didn’t ask- but I wouldn’t have known to honestly.  I’m glad that you were so upfront.  I like that you’re so open.”

               “You certainly are peculiar… But I’m finding that I’m ok with that… I just didn’t want you to think that I’m some snotty goody-two-shoes who is a complete prude.”

               “I don’t think that.  Being a good girl is nothing negative, Princess… and neither is being a virgin… that’s nothing negative… I actually find you more interesting because of it… And I don’t know what you think about me- but I’m not some bad boy- and like I said when we met- I’m not easy … I have never been with a woman- and that accidental touch made me feel like an idiot.  I felt so mixed up- and I knew that if I ever did it for real- I’d want it to be special- and I’d want to know that you were ok with it first… That was probably a stupid thing to say to you- but it’s the truth.”

               “It’s not stupid.  And I am impressed. It seems you believe that intimacy isn’t something to be taken lightly- and I applaud that.”

               “It isn’t.  I think it should be because you love someone- it should be serious- it should mean something- and it shouldn’t just be because you’re lusting after the person… passion dies eventually- but love- real love is eternal… And when you’re intimate with someone- you are one with them- and there’s a part of you that’s involved with them forever-no matter how many other people you’re with- so I’m convinced that when you enter into such a thing- you should intend to keep that person- you should be making love and not just having sex- because –there’s a difference…”

               “I feel the same way.”

               “I’m glad.  I don’t feel like such an idiot anymore.”

               “You’re not an idiot.”

They walked a little further and he said, “So tell me more about being a good girl.”

She laughed. “We just had a discussion about intimacy.  Are you sure you’re not asking because my good girl mentality is getting you hot or whatever people say..?”

He chuckled.  “Well- I admit that it does something for me- but that’s not why I ask… I just want to get to know you.  I want to know what you think and who you are.”

               “Ok then… I obeyed my parents- I never missed curfew- I don’t even know it I had one because I never did anything to warrant having one… I never had a crush on anyone at school- they were all jerks… My clothes were always appropriate.  I never got in trouble at school.  I never had a wreck- never got a ticket or even pulled over.  I pay my bills on time and I always send Thank You Cards even if I hated the gift.  I always cleaned my room before I was asked- and once I was old enough to do my own laundry- I did it without being asked… I just asked my mom to iron my dress shirts because I was afraid to ruin them.  I fixed dinner every time it needed to be done- I cleared my plate… And I was very good at cleaning the house for my mom.”

               “It sounds like you were a big help.”

               “I was. My mom once thought my dad had hired her a maid to clean for her while she went to Pennsylvania to see her aunt… But it was all me…”

               “I bet they appreciated it.”

               “They did.  They still do.  Actually- occasionally when I know they’re busy- I go over there and do laundry and clean up. The next day, I get a call thanking me.”

               “You’re special.”

               “I don’t feel like it all the time… Actually- a lot of the time, I feel simply horrible… You know- even though I’m a good girl, Kevin- I’m not always on my game… I mean- this whole conversation is odd to me… And I’m a smart girl but I feel so dumb I could get kicked out of kindergarten. I mean- here I was thinking that you had been with a lot of girls and you were going to think less of me because I’m a goody-goody…  I was wrong… I feel stupid about thinking that.”

He was going to say that it was ok, but she went off again.  “I don’t know what’s going on with me lately.”

It was then that he realized how deep she was.  She was intellectualizing what she was feeling and trying to make it make sense to her.  He really didn’t know how she was doing with it.

               “Hailey, you don’t need to totally understand it.   I mean- I don’t understand all this either- but I’m not complaining.  Some things are better left a mystery, don’t you think?”

She looked frustrated and irritated then.  “You’re so annoying. I mean- you’re so cool with everything and here I am making an idiot of myself.  And I’m irritated because I’m SO not the girl I thought I was… I like being a rebel… I am enjoying cursing at you and I enjoyed what you did earlier- I’m so ashamed of myself!  I’ve changed in the space of a few days. How does that happen?!”

               “Hailey, calm down-please.  Just relax.  You’re going to be fine, honey.  You’ve just discovered that you’re not just that good little girl anymore- you’ve just realized that you’re a woman with feelings and desires- and dreams… You’re independent and you’re also learning to be your person- which is great.  You’re not only learning all that- you’re also learning how to be a friend- you’re learning to trust someone who’s not family… A guy of all things… That’s big.  You’re not a horrible person, Princess.”

               “You make me feel like a rebel.  I don’t know how I feel about that.”

               “Honey, I’m no saint- but I’m hardly a bad boy… I’m just irritating you enough to get you out of that shell of yours and its making you feel like someone you don’t know… Like I said- I was a good student like you… I obeyed my parents, I never missed a curfew- I never slept with anyone- I cleaned my room- never talked back… I never even kissed someone until Sandra… But that lasted about 2 months before she totally made me hate women for a while… But you- you changed my mind-set.  I appreciate that.  I’m really not trying to corrupt you, Hailey.  I’m just trying to get you to relax a little.”

               “I guess you’re right.  I’m a bit uptight and I’m not exactly approachable… I appreciate that you appreciate me… And I’m sorry about how Sandra treated you… I don’t know her, but she sounds like a bitch.”

               “She was. I just didn’t see it and I feel like a moron for that.”

               “I don’t think you’re a moron.  You have to be smart to penetrate my wall of silence and unapproachable-ness.”

               “Well, before I prove you wrong and become a moron- do you want to do coffee on Saturday morning at 9? I really want to socialize with you.”

               “Ok- fine.  That sounds good. If you want to be seen with me, I’ll let you.” She grinned.

               “I really want people to see us together- it’ll give them something to talk about.”

I don’t know if I’m ready for that- but I want to be…  Hailey thought as they walked to the front to check out.

 

Chapter 6

Kevin Townsend thought about the time he had spent with Hailey in the bookstore.  She was so unlike anyone he had ever met- and what he loved is that she was ok with that.  She was complex and deep- if not a little bit damaged.  He had no idea why they had such a deep conversation-especially considering that they still barely knew each other.  He was surprised how much information she volunteered- for a shy girl… And he admitted to himself that he hadn’t really wanted to- but he did feel something for her.  Right now, he couldn’t quite place it- but he thought that it was something that would change his life… He had a feeling that Hailey was going to now be a permanent fixture in his life and he was just fine with that.  He didn’t think he would be-but he was.  As he thought all this, Kevin wondered if Hailey was thinking about him at all- he wondered if she was having some of the same feelings and doubts as he was.  He imagined that she probably was- but he couldn’t be too sure.  As he tried to sleep that night- all he kept thinking was how much he wanted her in his life.  He couldn’t turn his mind off, and it was driving him crazy.  He had never thought about a girl so much and he had never wanted someone to like him as much as he wanted Hailey to like him.  For the most part, he didn’t try to modify any part of who he was for anyone- and he had a very clear what you see is what you get mentality that hovered over everything he did. He guessed that while that was great in certain areas, it was probably harmful in others.  He just wasn’t sure if he was correct in harboring all these feelings for Hailey McKay.  Kevin wasn’t the type to be curious about much- but he found himself Google-ing her. The top search findings were her articles for the newspaper.  There were also a few for the school paper at UC.  She had also spent some time writing for the Yale Daily News when she was there for that summer class.  It came up with her blog and with her Facebook and Twitter accounts.  He found her on Pinterest.  He also stumbled upon a story that she had gotten really good reviews on written on the writer’s site, Figment. He read it and was blown away by it.  She had a very good style. It was interesting and engaging.  Her characters seemed real- as did their problems. The next story he found was a historical novel about World War II.  It was very correct in the information it presented. He sighed a little and decided that he wasn’t going to worry too much about it- if he liked her, he liked her and that was it. He wasn’t going to stop any time soon.

 

The next few days went by in a blur of books and work for Hailey.  And now it was Halloween- Hailey’s favorite holiday.  The bookstore was having another one of their fabulous Halloween costume parties.  And Hailey was going as she had every year since college- which granted- wasn’t a long time- but enough to have established the fact of coming.  She was really looking forward to it- just as she had every year.  Parties weren’t really her thing- but she liked dressing up and pretending to be someone else for a night.  She got to the bookstore early- which obviously delighted Caleb who said he was way behind.  Apparently, the DJ for the night got stuck in traffic coming back from a Bar Mitzvah party in Dayton.  So Caleb asked if Hailey would mind singing up on the second floor of the bookstore- she gladly accepted- which seemed a little odd to her since she didn’t usually entertain that way- but somehow when Caleb asked- she complied.  She wondered- when Caleb looked at her the first time on that night- if she had maybe gone overboard on her wardrobe- she had dressed in a fancy floor-length evening gown fit for a 1940s glamour girl.  She had done her hair in a fancy braid and tuck style- which her sister, Rebecca had helped her achieve.  Rebecca had her own Halloween party to go to at school.  Caleb had been really busy when she got there that evening- because of all the last-minute stuff that always happens no matter how thoroughly you plan.   Plus- with all the drama ensuing from the DJ being stuck in traffic-it was really a mess.  Plus, she saw a huge stack of books which were in a FedEx box- no doubt from his supplier- and he was hiding the books in the back...  When he had finished- he really looked at her.  “Hailey- I was remiss earlier- I was so busy that I didn’t stop to tell you have gorgeous you are.”

She blushed considerably. “Thanks. Do you think it’s too much?” 

               “Not for Halloween…”

               “Good.” She said.

 

Kevin Townsend really had no intention of coming to the party but he figured that Hailey would be there, so he went. When he arrived, there were only two or three people in the store, but he was a good twenty minutes early. He found the owner, Caleb- and a woman Kevin assumed was Caleb’s wife.  Caleb was dressed as a pilot and she was dressed as a flight attendant. And then he saw Hailey upstairs on the second floor of the bookshop. She was setting up a karaoke machine in a long red evening gown that was red carpet ready. Her brown hair was braided and tucked in all the right places. He couldn’t see her shoes at first but when he did, he saw that they were obviously expensive. They were black lace pumps. Her nails and lipstick exactly matched her silky red gown. Her skin glowed and when she had completed her task, she picked a silver clutch off the table in front of the large black reading couch. He couldn’t resist anymore and said, “You look delightfully elegant tonight, Princess.”

She looked startled for a second, but then said, “So do you.  You look like Fred Astaire.”

               “Good! That’s what I was going for.” He waved a hand over his attire- a black tuxedo with the white bow tie and the coat of his tux with tails. He also wore a top hat and carried a walking stick. He looked very dapper.

               “So did you just dress like him or do you actually know how to dance?”

               “Try me.” He chuckled.

She put on some music and said, “All of this is Halloween-themed… So hopefully you won’t find it too distracting.”

               “I doubt that very highly.”

The score from The Phantom of the Opera played and he engaged her in a half tango, half Pasodoble. They did a quick step to Ghostbusters.  And they did a funny tap dance to the theme from The Munsters.                “Alright.  You can dance.” She said.

               “You dance very well yourself.”

               “I took ballet for 12 years… in school- and I still practice most every day.  I also took tap for 12 years… but I was never really great at it… I also took a few years of Classical Dancing which is where I learned the Paso, Tango, Quickstep, Foxtrot, Rumba, Jitterbug, Charleston, Jive, and Waltz…”

               “You certainly adjusted well.”

               “What about you? You adjusted well too.”

               “Oh, my mother thought us kids should be cultured and she hated football… So we all took dance… she wanted me to be another Fred Astaire or Gene Kelly… it wasn’t to be, but I pay tribute with this costume…”

               “That’s very interesting…” She said. And then distraction overcame her and she realized it was time for her to sing. She was opening the party with a creepy song written by Caleb for the event.

 

Kevin listened as her voice caressed the piece- floating effortlessly over the chords and delivering a stormy and haunting melody.  She had a great voice.  It reminded him of the character she had chosen to represent tonight- a screen siren- a multi-talented performer who could sing and dance… When the song was over, everyone clapped and she smiled shyly.  “Thanks, everyone… Now, let the party begin!”

And then she came downstairs. He snagged her arm and said, “You were wonderful.”

               “Thanks.” She smiled, but tried to pull away, uncomfortable with this closeness.

               “Please don’t be like that, Princess.  I just want to talk to you.”

               “I really don’t understand you.” She exclaimed.

               “I think you’re fun.  I like you.  What’s so hard to understand about that?”

               “I don’t understand ‘why’ you think I’m so fun- and I certainly don’t understand why you like me.”

               “Princess, you’re gorgeous, and you’re deep. There are so many facets to you and you’re so very intelligent.  You’re so shy that you’re mysterious, and I find that utterly intoxicating.”

               “You’re sick!” Was all she said before walking away.

They met again a few minutes later and he managed to engage her in a conversation about Halloween. He realized how hard it was to get her out of solitude, but when he could get her mind off the fact that this was a social gathering, she was a brilliant conversationalist. She was very intelligent and he told her so.  She looked like she might turn a shade of crimson.  “I have to admit, Princess, I found you online.  You’re quite the writer.  I loved that historical fiction about the days of Pirates, and the Downton Abbey retelling… Your World War II piece was very engaging.”

               “I never expected anyone to read anything I’d written.”

               “Your stuff is good-just sayin’.”

               “How would you know?”

               “I’m an editor by trade…”

She looked like she didn’t want to admit that maybe he was onto something.

 He really had no idea why she didn’t want to believe in her talent. And he asked her a question to change the topic. “What music do you like?”

               “All kinds of stuff… I love Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Fred Astaire, Donald O’Connor, Danny Kaye, Bing Crosby, and Gene Kelly, anything from old musicals… I love Michael Bublé, Celine Dion, Hanson, Avril Lavigne, Kelly Clarkson, Maroon 5, Joan Jett, Blondie, Pat Benatar, Foreigner, The Beatles, The Who, the Monkees… I like the Stones… I like Bob Dylan… I have some guilty pleasures- I like certain catchy pop songs that are truly detestable… those songs change… How about you?”

               “Most of those people are on my list of favorites.”

               “You’re just trying to get close to me by pretending we share the same interests.”

               “Wow, you’re so untrusting, Princess. I honestly like them… Here…” He pulled up his Facebook page and showed her his music section. It revealed that he was telling the truth.

               “Alright- I apologize. You win.” She tried to walk away but he stopped her. “I heard that there are pizzas showing up in five minutes… Don’t leave until you get some.”

               “I wasn’t going to leave; I was trying to go over to the other side of the room as to avoid this conversation.”

               “Oh, come now, Princess… Why am I so odious to you?”

               “I don’t like people.  I come because Caleb is one of my only friends and he needs me… Plus- this is my favorite holiday.”

               “Are you sure you don’t have feelings for this guy?” He nodded towards Caleb.

               “Don’t be crass!  He’s married!”

               “That doesn’t always stop people.”

               “You son of a bitch! I’m not that kind of girl! He’s ten years my senior- his wife is awesome.  They have twins. I’m not a home wrecker and I don’t feel that way about him.  Sure, I like him, but I’m a friend and nothing else.  I don’t like you accusing me of such a thing!  I’m not a trollop! Maybe you spend time with ladies of the night, but I’m not one of them. I sleep alone and my body is mine and mine alone. I’m not like the person you painted.”

               “Hey, slow down!  I never said you were being such a person!  I just was stating a fact- a sad one- that just because someone is married and someone knows that- doesn’t mean that the attraction stops. And it doesn’t mean that people don’t overlook the ring. I never said you were a trollop- I don’t think you’re a bad girl… Relax, you high strung woman! I’ll just have to watch my words around you.”

               “Fine.”

               “And I don’t like you accusing me of being a man-whore… I have never slept with anyone. I told you that already.  I’ve only had one girlfriend and she was a bitch… I found out before it could go that far. And like I said, I got a scholarship and I have a spotless record from school… I obeyed my parents. And I have never so much as gotten a parking ticket.”

She suddenly felt foolish and sighed.  “Dammit. I’m sorry. Can you tell I don’t socialize much?”

               “Yes.  But I still like you.”

               “You’re twisted.”

               “Maybe so… But nevertheless, I like you.”

Hailey got home and went to bed, although her dreams were unsettling at best.  And even days later she was having trouble not thinking about the attractive Kevin Townsend…

 

Kevin had gone home smiling, thinking about the spirited brunette and making it his mission to befriend her. A bout a week later, he was still thinking about her- which was quite amazing to him.  She was surely the newest adventure in his life.

 

Chapter 7

Hailey McKay liked to read in the morning before work at The Coffee Bean.  She had already been there in the morning- but now, she was back again.  She was having a caramel macchiato and reading These Things Hidden by Heather Gudenkauf.  She figured that the people in the bookstore probably would doubt that she even worked if it weren’t for the fact that they all knew her, so they knew for a fact that she worked.  She just happened to do a lot of her work at home- and part of her work was blogging, which required her to report on things that were new or trending- or to give some sort of in-depth report on something that was being revisited.  For instance- last week she had watched a bunch of Fred Astaire films and blogged on them.

  The week before that, she saw all the new movies that were out.  She always felt a little guilty about that though- because it sometimes felt like all they wanted her to do was sit in a dark theater, or in her house watching DVDs.  There was one major plus to it though- which was that the newspaper had paid for her Media Center and she had a Blu-Ray player and a flat-screen TV that would have cost her about a year’s salary- or close to it anyway- especially with those Dolby 5.1 Surround Sound speakers and the iPod docking station and the gaming system that they put in that she didn’t use unless forced.  She wasn’t much for video games- although she was glad that they had included new versions of the only old games she ever played as a kid- Super Mario Brothers and Duck Hunt.  She did like the Rock Band game a bit- but found it was only fun if you had people to play with- which for her- really wasn’t plausible.  Sometimes, she and Rebecca, or her brothers would jam together.  Of course, she beat the pants off every one of them because she actually played guitar.  That was something she did that was part of her therapy.  She also read and wrote, and she sometimes sang karaoke at the karaoke bar… It was corny- but it wasn’t like there was anything else to do.

 

But now, Hailey sat in The Coffee Bean reading- sipping her coffee and hoping to finish the next chapter before leaving.

 

Kevin Townsend really didn’t have a hankering for coffee at the moment, but he saw Hailey in there; so he decided to go in anyway. He saw that she had moved onto another book. She must go through a lot of them he thought.  Just the other day he had seen her reading a collection of poems by Emily Dickenson, and a week ago, she was at the library in their Special Collections reading something that looked old enough to have belonged to a great grandfather or something.  Kevin noticed that he always saw her by herself.  It didn’t look like she ever did anything with anyone else; and from a few of the conversations he had had with her to date- he pretty much had discovered that everything she said about being all alone, and not having friends-was remarkably true.  He actually found it heartbreaking- even though he really didn’t know her all that well.  Hailey just seemed like the type who wasn’t all that open.  But also from what he’d heard- he guessed she really hadn’t been given the opportunity- and hadn’t really been enticed to go make a bunch of friends.  She was a girl with a lot of trust issues. Most girls who were her age were socializing, but she spent all her time reading.  He decided that whether or not she wanted a friend; that she was going to get one.  So he went into the coffee shop and sat down at her table. She didn’t notice.  When it looked like she was done with her chapter, he cleared his throat and she jerked; almost dropping the book.  She fumbled for the book mark and put it in her place. “Damn! How long have you been there?”

               “For about four minutes.”

               “Well, I don’t see any coffee- so you mustn’t really need to be here.”

               “Somebody’s in a bad mood.”

               “You gave me a fright.”

‘A fright’?! I gave her a fright?! Who even talks like that?! “Mighty strong words, Princess.”

               “I like to use proper grammar.  Do you have a problem with that?”

               “You just ended a sentence with a question.”

               “So sue me. I’m impressed that you noticed- huzzah for you.” She rolled her eyes.

               “Gosh, you’re cranky today.  PMS or something?” He knew that was a little low- but it was out of his mouth before he could stop it. 

She shoved the book into her pink messenger bag with fury; and then took her glasses off and stuffed them into their black Prada case.  “If I didn’t- I do now. And this PMS has nothing to do with my insides.” Her jaw was set.  She’s furious.  I can practically see steam coming out of her ears.

               “Then what, pray tell does it have something to do with?”

               “This PMS stands for Pissed at Men Syndrome.”

               “We got off on the wrong foot.”

               “You’re damn right- now please leave me alone.”

               “I’m sorry, Hailey.  I was being an ass.”

               “Yes, you were.”

               “I apologize.  I was over-zealous and I said things I shouldn’t… I was much too bold and I ended up doing exactly the opposite of what I wanted to do… I wanted to see if we could be friends- but now, you’re probably going to scurry off and go back to an empty house because of my stupidity.”

She softened a little.  “Apology accepted.  But- please- from now on- don’t go there with me. Women don’t like men who make fun of the hell that PMS is- and it’s not something any of us wants to go through… So just- don’t go there.”

               “Alright.  I got it.  I’ll never say it again.”

               “Good.” She got up and swung her bag over her shoulder so it hung at her side.  Her outfit was adorable.  She was wearing brown corduroy pants with a soft yellow shirt- a form-fitting khaki jacket accented her  figure and she wore brown leather calf-length boots.  She looked so girl-next-door- and he realized that she reminded him of the girl who lived across the street from him- he had started to piece that theory together when he saw her with her reading glasses on- but had been distracted by the fight they were having.  Of course, it couldn’t be proven, but she did have brown hair and read a lot, wore reading glasses…

She started to leave and he grabbed her arm gently. He didn’t know what had possessed him to be so clingy.  He hated people like that and yet he felt a panic rushing over him as she was trying to leave…  “Please don’t go.”  Kevin looked at her with sad eyes.

               “I have to get home… I forgot my list…” She was a little distracted by the look on his face when he said that, and probably didn’t mean to tell him about the list…

               “What list?” He finally smiled again, feeling an ‘In’ coming- an opportunity.

               “I don’t see how that’s any of your concern.”

               “I have to go to the store- to get things for tonight…”

He said it on purpose because it sounded like she was going grocery shopping which he had to say he wouldn’t mind taking care of his errands with her around. It seemed a little lame wanting to go grocery shopping with her, but at this point, he’d take what he could get, even if all it was happened to be Krogering…

She looked peeved and taken aback at the same time.  “How did you-? Oh, never mind!” She rolled her eyes and started to pull away again.

               “Relax.  How about we just try this?”

               “Try what?!” She looked confused and she still was processing her anger- he could tell.

               “Being friends.”

               “So that’s what this all comes down to?  Ok, fine! Meet me at Kroger in 20 minutes, and you’ll see that it’s a waste of time. Just like trying to be friends with me is a waste of time.”

               “You never know.  My grocery habits may astound you into instant friendship with me.”

               “That’s about as likely as a cold drink on Mustafar. Or a warm drink on Hoth…”

               “It’s already happening.  I love Star Wars references.”

               “You’re annoying!”

               “Maybe so.  But I’ll be there none-the-less.”

Then she started muttering something in French. She was muttering so it wasn’t easy to understand what she was saying, but the gist of it was I cannot BELIEVE that I can’t even go to the grocery store by myself anymore… I went for so long without being acknowledged- and now I can’t escape…  And she walked out of the coffee shop without so much as a goodbye.

******

Hailey hadn’t expected any of this.  Nor had she wanted it; entering into such a bond with some random guy was the absolute last thing she wanted.  But he was trying so hard that she couldn’t really be too mad at him for wanting to be her friend.  It was hardly a crime- and she had to admit that she felt honored that he gave her the time of day that no one else had- she just- got so wired when he was around.  She could feel herself getting defensive when he talked to her- she felt like she had to be on her guard.  That was something she had never felt before; at least not in this way.  This was different.  She went home and grabbed her grocery list and her car keys and she headed out the door- wondering why she was so on edge about this meeting.  When she got to the store, she found the reason why-upon seeing Kevin Townsend leaning up against his red BMW with his sunglasses on; looking so cool.  If this were a church and not a grocery store, it would be SO Sixteen Candles with him as Jake and her as Samantha Baker…  Her stomach got butterflies and she felt herself staring at him like she was seeing him for the first time.  She felt ridiculous.  This was absurd!  But, he wasn’t looking upset by the whole thing- he actually looked pleased- which annoyed her to no end because that’s the last thing she wanted him to be.  “You showed up.  I’m glad.  Kind of a Sixteen Candles moment, don’t ya think?”

She was taken aback for a moment. He smiled and said, “That’s just what you were thinking- I can tell!  Of course, you’d be in a ridiculous bridesmaid dress…”

               “Let’s just do this, ok?”

               “You either really don’t like me- or you really do.”

She hated how true that rang.  She wanted to believe that it was the former- but more and more was beginning to think it was the latter- which scared the living daylights out of her. The thought peaked its way into her consciousness and she didn’t want to admit it.

They began to walk towards the store, and then inside.

 

Kevin realized that he had struck a nerve with her.  He wasn’t sure if he’d get the result he wanted- but it was looking more and more likely.  They both began to put their groceries in their carts and he found he liked the normalcy.  It seemed so natural.  He hadn’t gotten up the nerve to ask her out- but even though this wasn’t a date- he found it accomplished some of the same goals.  Plus, being out with her like this gave him the chance to stare at her and look at her.  It sounded a little creepy upon review, but he didn’t really care. Hailey was a gorgeous young woman.  He loved the way she glanced at her list, and sometimes would flick her side-swept bangs out of her face.  There was something indescribably attractive about that.  When they got to the aisle with the canned veggies and fruits, she needed some Italian stewed tomatoes for a recipe and they were all the way on the top shelf- back about half-way.  He was tall, so he saw it, but she didn’t. She tried getting up on her tiptoes but couldn’t reach.  He backtracked it in his mind realized how natural she had looked getting on her tiptoes- like it was something she did often- but probably in different shoes… Then he recalled the conversation at the Halloween party and remembered that she was a ballerina… He reached up and grabbed her can of tomatoes.  “Thanks.” She said.

               “You’re welcome.  Say- you looked good doing that- Is it hard to do ballet in those shoes?”

               “Doing what? Standing on my tiptoes?”

               “Yeah.  That.”

               “A little, but not really. I practice every day so I get used to the motions of it no matter what I’m wearing.”

               “I thought you wrote for the paper. How do you do both? Ballet takes a lot of time.”

               “I do work for the paper.  Ballet is my exercise.  Plus, I like it… I didn’t want to be a real ballerina- it’s too competitive in that circle… I could have done it… I actually got accepted to a company- but I was busy with school, so I declined… My parents thought I made a big mistake- said I was too talented not to use my gift… But they also wanted me to go to school- so they lightened up eventually.  I just remember them looking so disappointed in me that I wanted to die… But I went to Yale for that summer program and I did well at UC… I still practiced every day- and I even helped the ballet school that I went to- when the main teacher, Ms. Keppert was on maternity leave…”

               “You must be talented.  I could tell- even the first time I saw you- that you must have been trained in some way-to have that graceful walk- and that great posture.”

               “I find it flattering that you noticed…” She said honestly as they walked.

               “I’ve noticed a lot of things about you, Princess.”

               “I hope there’s more positive than negative.” She grabbed a can of Skyline Chili and they moved onto the next aisle.

               “Oh, there is.” He walked ahead of her a little.  It was the baking aisle and she grabbed a boxed cake mix- devil’s food.  Then she picked up some muffin mix- blueberry, and some chocolate icing.

               “Please tell me you like to bake.” He said, with a hopeful voice.

               “I’m guessing that would be a positive thing to go on my list.”

               “Yep.”

               “I love to bake.  I make delicious cakes, muffins, bread and cookies…” She grabbed a box of chocolate muffin mix. 

               “I’m glad to hear that.”

She started to soften a little.  “I’ll bake you something. What would you rather have?”

               “Cookies- chocolate chip.”

               “Done.” She grabbed a bag of semi-sweet morsels and a bag of flour.  “I just bought sugar and I have vanilla extract… I have baking soda… I have butter.  I’ll need eggs- but that’s towards the end of the shopping trip… Can you grab me the light-brown sugar please?”

               “Sure. Anything else?”

               “Nope.  I have salt at home.”

               “Salt?”

               “It’s in cookies sometimes… It’s just a teaspoon.”

               “To bring out flavor or something?”

               “Yes.  See- things with flour tend to be a little bland so salt keeps it more savory… Seems counterintuitive- but trust me, you want to eat them with salt. Now- if you use salted butter, then you shouldn’t put salt in your cookies- but its fine if you use that butter… I just wouldn’t unless I had to.”

               “You’re smart… And you know your cookie recipe. That’s impressive.”

               “Not really.  It’s the Nestle Toll House recipe… I’ve been making it since I was a kid- and my mom made it when I was younger…”

               “But you didn’t look at the bag of chips.”

               “Ok- I have it memorized.”

               “That’s impressive- like I said.”

               “It actually says you can add nuts…”

               “I hate nuts.”

               “Oh, thank God! I really didn’t want to ruin the cookies by putting nuts in…”

               “My thought exactly.”

They walked down a little bit.  He grabbed a box of Nutri-Grain bars from the breakfast section and Hailey grabbed a box of Pop-Tarts. They swung around to the next aisle.  They both grabbed a box of Oyster Crackers.  They both bought Triscuits.   He bought Lucky Charms Cereal and she laughed. 

He scoffed.  “I wasn’t allowed to have them growing up.”

               “Neither was I. Oh, hell, I’ll live a little.” She grabbed a box too. “Now to even it out- Cheerios…”

               “Raisin Bran…”

               “That was fun.”

               “Yes it was, Princess.”

They went to the next aisle.  “My Mecca…” She gestured with a laugh.  It was cookies and candy.

               “Somehow, I don’t picture you as the candy and cookie type. You’re thin.”

               “Maybe so- but I still like to eat junk food.”

               “I bet they warned you against that in ballet school and you’re rebelling.”

               “Yep.  I don’t want to be skinny- just thin.”

They walked and talked through the entire store, and by check-out; Kevin couldn’t believe how much he wanted to ask her out.  The only thing was that she still got so flustered whenever he’d hint to it.  He was starting to lose patience but he knew that was the last thing he needed to do.  It was so frustrating though- to have made this kind of progress with her- just to chicken out.  But he could tell she wasn’t ready.  So he decided to wait.

 

Hailey surprised herself by enjoying the grocery run.  Kevin was fun to shop with and he was very helpful- getting things off the top-shelf and lifting heavy things of water bottles.  He heaved them up onto his shoulders as if they weighed no more than a loaf of bread.

There was something incredibly sexy about that- she hated to admit.  The next day, she worked, but then she pre-heated her oven and made the cookies she had promised Mr. Townsend. She ate one of the ones that were small for quality control, and because she was hungry… Best batch I ever made… Damn. She wondered why she was so annoyed by that fact.  Maybe it was because they had turned out better when they were for a boy than they ever were when she made it for anyone else.  But, she sighed as she watched E.T. : The Extra Terrestrial on Blu-Ray and wondered if Kevin liked it to, cursing herself for allowing that annoyance of a thought slip out.  She let the cookies cool and then, as the movie wrapped up; she was getting around to putting the cookies in something and found a Glad brand plastic tub with a lid, and layered the cookies neatly.  As she did this; she realized that she had no idea where to find the man in question.  He was new in town- that’s what he had said. She decided to text Caleb to see if he had seen Kevin Townsend anywhere.  He hadn’t.  “I didn’t think so.” She sent back.  And then he asked, “Why were you looking for him?”

And she typed, “I opened my big mouth and told him I’d do something- but now that I think about it- my promising it was dumb because I don’t know where to find him to give it to him.”

               “That was a lot… What did you say you’d do?”

               “I baked him cookies!  I’m so stupid!”

               “You’re stupid for feeding the poor bachelor?”

               “I look like I like him…”

               “Hailey, babe- you’re allowed.”

Hailey knew that whenever Caleb called her a pet name that he was being either sarcastic, or he was sympathetic.  This one had to be sarcastic- and maybe a little condescending in a good-natured way…

               “But I don’t want him to think I feel something for him.”

               “Hailey- it’s alright for you to like him.”

               “But I don’t…” If he could hear her, it would have been bad because she sounded so unsure of that statement.

               “Yeah- just like I don’t like baseball.” Caleb was really into baseball.  He went to every in-town Red’s game, he collected merchandise and he had a collection of baseball cards that was in a small vault because the collection was worth so much. He watched all the baseball movies and he coached a little-league team.  So him comparing the situation with Kevin- her not liking him- to him not liking baseball was as insane and absurd.  She felt so dumb.

               “That was mean.”

               “It’s the truth, sweetie.”

               “That’s what I’m afraid of.  I don’t want to like him.”

               “Hailey, he’s not a leper… He’s just a nice guy who likes you enough to force you out of your shell. What’s so bad about that?”

               “I just- I’m not used to being with someone- needing someone… It’s always just been me and I thought I was ok with that… I was-but now- I feel so alone- except when he’s bugging me… And the weird thing is that I’m starting to not be annoyed anymore…I’m letting annoyance show because I’m annoyed at myself- not at him… He’s a pain in the ass.  And here I am baking freaking awesome cookies for him and fretting about when and where to give them to him- and what container to put the damn things in- and what frigging outfit to wear when I see him again…. This is so high school!  And I never liked anyone in high school… I’m turning into a stupid twitterpated idiot!”

               “I thought you hated Bambi.”

               “That’s what you took from that?! Of course I hate that movie- the damn deer’s mom gets shot by a hunter… And I think there’s some sort of fire…”

               “I think so- it’s been a while.”

               “But that isn’t what I want to talk about.”

               “I know… Hailey- I’m telling you- you like this guy… You may not want to- but tough- you do.  He seems like a nice guy.  You should go for it.  Everyone does and says stupid stuff when they’re crushing on someone… Don’t be ashamed… Actually- you’re handling it pretty well. This is the exception- this conversation.”

               “Ok.  I capitulate. If you see him- tell him to meet me when I go for coffee at The Coffee Bean before work tomorrow.”

               “Will do.”